Today..

Today,  I apparently exist in the WordPress Universe! Tomorrow I probably won’t, so will take advantage of my temporary existence to say Hello and check in.

I am still alive and able to sit up and take nourishment. Hey, it’s a start.

I think I’ve stumbled on the reason for my existence. There’s some grand experiment going on that someone signed me up for, and it’s to find out how long one can exist independently with the fewest possible working body parts.  On my best days, I operate with one third of a (working) spine, one bionic knee and one crumbling knee, two functional hips, and one functional arm and hand.

On my worst days, I go with 1/16th of a spine, two hips functioning at 1/4 capacity each, one bionic knee, and one half of one arm in operation.

Now I know I could make better use of our wonderful medical system if I wanted to, and have at least four more joints replaced with bionic wonders. However, since the likelihood of surviving even one surgery with out acquiring a new and potentially deadly strain of staph or MRSA infection is topping 50 % now, I will pass. Plus, my chances of getting through even one more go around with this wonderful medical system, without getting arrested for committing homicide, are ZERO,  period. No thank you vera much!

Wheels were invented for good reasons. I have 15 of them now, between a walker, a scooter, a wheelchair and my van. And since I spent the first 55 years of my life not only ON my feet, but running my butt off 24/7, raising kids and working as a nurse in understaffed settings, I damned well deserve to sit the hell down NOW!

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Often it’s not ones first choice, but still, there IS.. always..a ” way,” and more often than not..the “way” that appears instead, turns out to be ten times better than the one we would have chosen in the first place!

I was going to make a pile of money after my kids were raised, so I could travel and “see the world”, then retire to my beautiful, paid for big log cabin on a river in the north woods.

Instead, a couple of pot-smoking night maintenance men in a nursing home used furniture wax on the floors instead of floor wax, creating an ice skating rink on which I fell and wrecked my back, and ended up on full disability at age 55!  (after going broke first, of course!)

Was I ever pissed!

But here I am, 13 years later, and on most days I feel like the richest, most fortunate person in the world.

Yep, even with this worn out body, and this tiny little income.

When I dreamed of traveling the world, I was yearning for ADVENTURE!  Well, I got adventure all right, just not the kind I ordered!  Once old doorways were slammed in my face, new ones opened wide…that I never would have discovered..that led to no end of incredible, creative adventures that found me cavorting across stages in two states running a theater project for actors with disabilities!  Beat the hell out of emptying bedpans and sticking needles in folks.  Next thing I knew I was on a jet plane on my way to Texas, where it happens I found a pretty nifty life companion who was willing to come back here with me! (I’d given up on that possibility years before!)

Ok, OK,  so this two bedroom apartment in  a “Senior” building isn’t a fancy log home in the North Woods.

But it’s warm and cozy and full of cats, and when our toilet died all we had to do is pick up the phone and a brand new one magically appeared!  No yard care , building mainentence, no worries, and a van tucked away in a warm underground garage to take me to see the woods when I want to.

The internet has taken me all over the world…to all the places I yearned to see, and to people I would never have met any other way.

All this open time and freed up energy has given me ample room for personal journeying, and spiritual growth that has left me, (most of the time, ) with a peace of mind and level of contentment, serenity, and enjoyment of life I could never have dreamed existed before.  I don’t know where the fears all went, but they don’t live here anymore.

Oh, it’s not nirvana, I have my share of  “dimmer” days and some where I turn into a whineycat sissy, or  a snarling cougar! But only for little while, usually.

Then it’s time to meet the next adventure!

Which may take the form of spending two hours in the clouds, traveling with them. Or this..deciding to write “something”…anything…without a single plan or purpose,  without caring how it sounds or who will like it or not..simply for the sheet joy of writing…!!

With that, I shall mosey on!

The View From Here. . .

This is literally the view this morning out of the window that my computer desk faces! The clouds are breathtaking, a reminder of the wonderful light Autumn rain we had last night.

The view is indeed so wonderful that it is easy to get lost in it rather than do anything as mundane as computer work. As my S.O. said this morning while we were drinking coffee on the front porch, “Isn’t it glorious, you can see forever!” Indeed it seems that you can see into forever and beyond. The magic of the vast openness of this place is indescribable. It is as if you can breathe in the Universe and become it!

I am mostly settled into my “new home” here in the middle of Nowhere, Wyoming and it certainly hasn’t taken anything at all to fall into the subtle rhythm of this place. The Meadow Lark sang to us as we enjoyed our coffee on the front porch, the clouds formed and reformed and allowed a glorious sun to shine forth.  It is easy to believe that All Is Well regardless of what else the outside world may be presenting to us. There is no turmoil here. There is no rushing about or a need to rush about anywhere. The quiet contentment of openness, beauty, and nature at its most revealing is all encompassing and touches the soul in comforting and nurturing ways. Glorious!

How is it in your world today?

My wish for you is that it is even half as joyful and loving as mine.

Big Hugs

Shirl