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Observations on Aging From an Unpredictable Mind
Posted by vintagescribe on October 20, 2009
It’s so strange: it seems like just yesterday I was racing around in my 1966 Pontiac GTO body, a sleek, powerful, Burgundy/ Black Hard Top, zero to sixty in a minute flat, take anything on the road like it was standing still!
I woke up this morning in a freakin’ JALOPY!!
(Pictures added by Diane, sorry could not find a wrecked jalopy pic)
Two flat tires, only half the cylinders firing, cracked windshield, transmission shot, reverse totally kaput, side panels rusted clear through, hole in the floor boards, doors ductaped shut!. DAMN! What happened?!
And so it feels on some mornings.
Other mornings I wake up quite content with my 195o Buick Body that looks like a big green overturned rolling bathtub that could have withstood a head on with an Hummer without blinking a headlight. Pure comfort on wheels. No snow bank, no incline too much for those big 8 cylinders.
Occasionally, I wake up in my 55 Chevy Stock Car Body: the one I beat to death on the track, till all it was good for were Demolition Derbys, which I usually won. Those are the days I put a Caution Flag on my door, so people have a chance to avoid me.
On the most peaceful days, I wake up in VanEssa, a gentle old reliable Mercury Villager Van with really bad front suspension. They told me to junk her a couple of years back. I told them they were nuts: she’s got miles to go before she sleeps, she just needed a new water pump, you idiot! She gets me where I need to go just fine, as long as I make sure I am gentle on the turns, accelerate slowly, give her all the oil she wants, a warm place to park, and plenty of rest. She sees no need to race off anywhere, or go a long ways away, and that’s fine with me.
And that’s how it all seems to be today.
shirlstars said
Great analogy. And certainly this older body can identify with it. I think that is the number one thing that ticks me off about things at this station of life. No two mornings do I awaken to the same “body condition.” It is very disconcerting and I have very little patience with continually learning new ways to navigate from here to there. I don’t want to be bothered with such unimportant (my view, it seems) things. Let’s just get on with it.
There seems to be no relational item or occurrence to blame it on either. I can’t at all figure out why one day I am up and at ‘em like I was a few years ago, moving with relative ease and motion into the things my unfolding day may hold for me. Then one day I can barely move to get out of bed. Huh? Doesn’t there seem like there should be a handbook for this? It is all so inconsistent! One day I am carrying 12 foot long half logs from one spot to another, cutting firewood, splitting firewood, measuring, trimming and hammering boards together for this project or that. A few days later, or before, I have to stop myself as I get up from a chair because it seems I have no legs. WTF?
Confusing, irritating, but most of the time I am doing well and enjoying every minute of the experience in front of me.
I would like some consistency though. Not sure who I should call on for that but I am getting pretty serious about making some demands. I am looking around for the complaint department.
Regardless of the physical anomalies, the greater part of every day is spent in wonderment of my awe inspiring surroundings here in the Middle of Nowhere and the amazing number of contacts I receive by phone from those of my extended family. Of course I also have a wonderfully fun and interesting significant Other to share things with and it all seems to fill me up with a lot of joy and gratitude.
Perhaps I am teetering on both ends of the spectrum here. Ticked off at physical ineptitude at times but overwhelmingly happy and enjoying life every day.
Thanks Scribe, You never disappoint.
Hugs
Shirl
dianed101 said
Hey Shirl, here’s a clue as to what might be happening, maybe you are doing too much on those days you feel good, lol, so how about moderation in all things….love you.
shirlstars said
Heh! Moderation? I’m not sure I understand the meaning of that word. When the body is cooperating I do what I feel I need to do and I feel great doing it. It would be so simple if there were an obvious cause and effect thing going on. There seems to be nothing obvious nor specifically causal in the “inconveniences” of physical malfunctions.
It sometimes starts out great with little or no difficulties then after getting up from sitting for a bit, I have no strength in my legs to stand steady. It is the repairing of the nerves that I am in the process of. That great nervous system of ours is what sends the messages, electrical impulses, from the brain to the body parts. . .as I know you know. My system is in apparent disconnect and there seems no rhyme or reason when the disconnect arises.
It is much better these days, and I will continue my regimen of supplements to repair nerve damage. . .maybe it is just “brain damage,” heh.
I hear my mother’s voice often when I feel a bit discouraged. She explained to me when I had asked why she didn’t use a wheel chair or one of those motorized shopping carts at the mall or the stores, “If I stop walking, I soon won’t be able to walk.” She was in her late 80’s and early 90’s at the time and had a lot of difficulty walking due to bone spurs behind her knee.
In our family, we just never gave into illness and discomfort. It just wasn’t done. I guess along with my natural stubbornness that is what I learned growing up.
I am no longer focusing on this physical irritation and will not choose to write about it again. I’ve decided to let go of it. I would prefer that I had never claimed it. Things are vastly improved this week and I expect they will continue to improve over time.
Thanks for your loving concern and it might be possible I will learn some moderation. . .but. . .that will surprise me more than it would you. LOL
Love you too, Diane
Hugs
Shirl
whisel said
Excellent analogy, Scribe
And fun to visualize all these great vehicles ready to speed or mosey on down the road.
I liken my ambulatory measures to sea creatures…. no surprise there
Sometimes I wake-up an octopus, all bendable tissue, with no dependable bone in my body.
Somedays I wake up a brittle sea urchin, my joints locked into strange positions. Everything I bump into is a bit of a jab. Dunno if I prefer to enter my daily world as a cephalapod or an echinoderm…. hm… tough choice.
But my favorite days are when I wake up a porpoise…. all rested, happy, bubbly, and eager to perform my antics with acrobatic glee. Now, let’s see, was that 1998 or 1999 that I last woke up a porpoise? haha
I’m just glad I wake up… everything else comes together (or not) after that.
Best wishes, Whisel*
dianed101 said
Scribe, I sure know what you mean, today I woke up in the old Model T I used to get to drive with my grand dad when I was young, the one the battery fell out of when we were driving on ye old country road.
Funny how alike some of our lives have been, I had a GTO too, about a 66 as far as I can recollect, with gold body and black top. Before that our family car was a 56 souped up Chevy, that husband raced in drag strips. He also did the body and paint work on it, 17 layers of clear over pearlescent blue base. It was a beauty but not so great as the family car. I could tell stories about that one.
Anyway right now I am trying to find my Corvette body, (that would be red and 61′ I think) and zoom out of this pain filled zone in which I currently reside.
Lovely to see all the action on this site.
tjdelaine said
I like the photos and figure a classic will always be a classic.
shirlstars said
Welcome Tj. Nice to see you here and have your comment. You are absolutely right! A classic is always a classic.
Hope you will visit often and share your views with us.
Hugs
Shirl
dianed101 said
TJ thanks for posting, please do come back and post again…if you have any problems or wish to post any stories please see the About section and email me.