My Village Blue 2

A Place to gather and smell the flowers

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Where, Oh Where….?

Posted by vintagescribe on November 9, 2009

(to the tune of “Oh Where, Oh Where Has my Little Dog Gone?”)

“Where, oh where has our whisel gone?

Oh where, oh where can she be?

With her whirling sparks and her tinkling joys,

Oh where, oh where can she be?”  

 

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Posted in News | 2 Comments »

Observations on Aging From an Unpredictable Mind

Posted by vintagescribe on October 20, 2009

gtoIt’s so strange: it seems like just yesterday I was racing around in  my 1966 Pontiac GTO body, a  sleek, powerful, Burgundy/ Black Hard Top,  zero to sixty in a minute flat, take anything on the road like it was standing still!

I woke up this morning  in a  freakin’ JALOPY!!

modelT (Pictures added by Diane, sorry could not find a wrecked jalopy pic)

Two flat tires,  only half the cylinders firing,  cracked windshield,  transmission shot,  reverse totally kaput, side panels rusted clear through,  hole in the floor boards,  doors ductaped shut!.  DAMN! What happened?!

And so it feels on  some mornings. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Journeys, memories, News, On my mind today | 8 Comments »

A Phrase to Contemplate..

Posted by vintagescribe on April 1, 2009

When I sat down to make a journal entry this morning, this phrase popped into my mind, so I wrote it down…”Evolve In Place!”

Along with the phrase, came a visual of a tall pyramid, which immediately began to fade away, to be replaced by a mind-picture of a deep still pond, as it would appear if one had just tossed a pebble into the middle of it, with the ripples radiating outward.

I’ve learned to just allow phrases and visuals to  simply sit quietly  in my mind, and not leap upon them with this inquisitive  rational mind that demands to know  “the meaning” of it all, immediately!

Patience…patience…:)

Now comes more of a sensing, than a clear thought..that I am receiving something I really need to “grok” on a pretty deep level…that isn’t easy to put into words.

I am sensing however, that it has something to do with changing structures here: that it is of no use to view anything as a pyramid, or hierarchal structure anymore.  That it’s time to stop “striving ahead, or upward”, toward any previously understood outcome or form.

Because it won’t be there. It’s somewhere else. In the pond? Under the ripples?

In any case, it’s an attractive option to one whose body is aging and periodically retiring it’s various parts and pieces!  I can handle this sitting quietly by a still deep pond, tossing in a pebble now and then, and following it in my mind,  as it slowly sinks downward, to a new home place.

What did this phrase whisper to you, I wonder?

Posted in Journeys, On my mind today | 3 Comments »

Today..

Posted by vintagescribe on October 9, 2008

Today,  I apparently exist in the WordPress Universe! Tomorrow I probably won’t, so will take advantage of my temporary existence to say Hello and check in.

I am still alive and able to sit up and take nourishment. Hey, it’s a start.

I think I’ve stumbled on the reason for my existence. There’s some grand experiment going on that someone signed me up for, and it’s to find out how long one can exist independently with the fewest possible working body parts.  On my best days, I operate with one third of a (working) spine, one bionic knee and one crumbling knee, two functional hips, and one functional arm and hand.

On my worst days, I go with 1/16th of a spine, two hips functioning at 1/4 capacity each, one bionic knee, and one half of one arm in operation.

Now I know I could make better use of our wonderful medical system if I wanted to, and have at least four more joints replaced with bionic wonders. However, since the likelihood of surviving even one surgery with out acquiring a new and potentially deadly strain of staph or MRSA infection is topping 50 % now, I will pass. Plus, my chances of getting through even one more go around with this wonderful medical system, without getting arrested for committing homicide, are ZERO,  period. No thank you vera much!

Wheels were invented for good reasons. I have 15 of them now, between a walker, a scooter, a wheelchair and my van. And since I spent the first 55 years of my life not only ON my feet, but running my butt off 24/7, raising kids and working as a nurse in understaffed settings, I damned well deserve to sit the hell down NOW!

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Often it’s not ones first choice, but still, there IS.. always..a ” way,” and more often than not..the “way” that appears instead, turns out to be ten times better than the one we would have chosen in the first place!

I was going to make a pile of money after my kids were raised, so I could travel and “see the world”, then retire to my beautiful, paid for big log cabin on a river in the north woods.

Instead, a couple of pot-smoking night maintenance men in a nursing home used furniture wax on the floors instead of floor wax, creating an ice skating rink on which I fell and wrecked my back, and ended up on full disability at age 55!  (after going broke first, of course!)

Was I ever pissed!

But here I am, 13 years later, and on most days I feel like the richest, most fortunate person in the world.

Yep, even with this worn out body, and this tiny little income.

When I dreamed of traveling the world, I was yearning for ADVENTURE!  Well, I got adventure all right, just not the kind I ordered!  Once old doorways were slammed in my face, new ones opened wide…that I never would have discovered..that led to no end of incredible, creative adventures that found me cavorting across stages in two states running a theater project for actors with disabilities!  Beat the hell out of emptying bedpans and sticking needles in folks.  Next thing I knew I was on a jet plane on my way to Texas, where it happens I found a pretty nifty life companion who was willing to come back here with me! (I’d given up on that possibility years before!)

Ok, OK,  so this two bedroom apartment in  a “Senior” building isn’t a fancy log home in the North Woods.

But it’s warm and cozy and full of cats, and when our toilet died all we had to do is pick up the phone and a brand new one magically appeared!  No yard care , building mainentence, no worries, and a van tucked away in a warm underground garage to take me to see the woods when I want to.

The internet has taken me all over the world…to all the places I yearned to see, and to people I would never have met any other way.

All this open time and freed up energy has given me ample room for personal journeying, and spiritual growth that has left me, (most of the time, ) with a peace of mind and level of contentment, serenity, and enjoyment of life I could never have dreamed existed before.  I don’t know where the fears all went, but they don’t live here anymore.

Oh, it’s not nirvana, I have my share of  “dimmer” days and some where I turn into a whineycat sissy, or  a snarling cougar! But only for little while, usually.

Then it’s time to meet the next adventure!

Which may take the form of spending two hours in the clouds, traveling with them. Or this..deciding to write “something”…anything…without a single plan or purpose,  without caring how it sounds or who will like it or not..simply for the sheet joy of writing…!!

With that, I shall mosey on!

Posted in On my mind today | 3 Comments »